Money Pressure n Lack of Independence

Money, money, money…

Man, why are we so ruled by money? Every little detail of our lives are dependent on these little pieces of metal or paper (mostly paper since if you can't get much done with a few coins), from living to eating. I wouldn't be surprised if we'll be charged for breathing soon *hmpf*. I miss the times when I was a kid, when you didn't have to worry about where the next cent would come from to pay the rent, phone bills, other bills, to even get food. Now it's just a struggle to even get by day to day, literary.

I don't quite know how we got into this whole mess, all I know is it worries me. Our son is coming in a few months time, we are supposed to host some people soon, and we are even having trouble getting food for the day. My mind tells me we're screwed, still I hold on to the one hope I have in my husband and my Lord. I know my beloved will work his ass off to take care of me and our son growing inside me, and I don't believe our Father would have set us here just to get destroyed. The only thing is it pains me to see my husband struggle so much, I see he's stressed, knowing that I myself can't do much to contribute. When you are 7 months pregnant, people aren't too willing to give you work. All I really can do now is just to stand by his side, and try to swallow my own worry, cos I've seen that if I start to freak out, he gets even more worried. I used to think men, at least my husband, were better at staying strong or at least were more willing to be the strong one. In real sense, we need each other to be strong.

The saying goes nowadays that you are strong alone, that you should be independent of everyone else. I used to live according to that, but frankly it didn't lead me anywhere. Well, it didn't lead me somewhere, but not anywhere I wanted to be. Yes, I was independent and strong on the outside, but it was a damn lonely life to live. Isolated. Cold. Dead. Nothing to celebrate. All the so called feminists may jump at me now, but I actually prefer being a two some, having someone to lean on and to take care of me when I myself am feeling week. I may not live a very independet life now, but instead I have a much richer life. I know I can trust my man to be there for me, to hold me, to support me, to discipline me when needed, to give guidence and advice when I can't see so clearly ahead, to comfort me, to laugh with (and at) me, to love me, to help me be the real me. Also, quite naturally, it goes the other way as well.

Two is so much sweeter than one. And soon we'll even be three 🙂